Not a Broken Heart, but a Broken Soul
by TheWrongJedi
Summary: Becoming his padawan took a toll on her soul, and now they both pay the price. (Quite sad and ends in a different way for Ahsoka Tano's story. I have been quite depressed lately so read at your own risk.) Fifty Sentence Fic. Inspired by Citizenjess fifty sentence Fic. "Ten Years of This, I'm Not Sure if Anybody Understands." You should read that story if you happen to like this.


#1: He doesn't like her, and she knows this- but it was only first impressions.

#2: Her optimism remains intact despite his disregard for her and the fact that he doesn't speak to her unless he has to.

#3: The first time she makes a mistake he takes the opportunity to lash out at her until she is near tears- her ego is somewhat bruised but Master Kenobi reminds her that its just the war getting to him and that is why he acts the way he does.

#4: Several times he threatens to send her back to the Temple and that he doesn't want a padawan- never did, never does.

#5: The Council contacts their ship and asks her for her Master to come and speak to them- Ahsoka finds him passed out on the floor of his room with a bottle of whiskey in his hand- she makes up a lie for him but the Council still isn't pleased.

#6: He doesn't stay sober anymore and never comes out of his room- and Ahsoka has to comfort Artoo because even he is worried now.

#7: She tries to get him to come outside and finds that his door had never been locked- she walks in to see him having a seizure.

#8: He wakes up in the med bay days later and finds her sleeping in a chair next to his bed, her hand resting on the dome of Artoo's head before he passes out again.

#9: They prescribe him pills for his condition and release him days later- Ahsoka convinces him to take the pills.

#10: Ahsoka notices the progress and is more than relieved to see him going back to normal- even if it means he still won't talk to her... he never had anyway.

#11: His pills eventually run out and he goes back to drinking- and his attempts to hide the whiskey on his breath fail and Ahsoka goes back to the medics to get more.

#12: Her attempts to help him only annoy him and to show his displeasure he grabs the bottle of pills out of her hands and throws them against a wall and yells in her face that he doesn't have a problem- her voice is barely above a whisper when she apologizes and runs off frightened.

#13: He doesn't see her for days and it worries him slightly, but when he passes the hall where the pills are scattered on the floor he becomes angry again and instructs Artoo to clean them up and dispose of them.

#14: Artoo finds Ahsoka laying in her bed on the ship and gives her the pills he had to clean up- Ahsoka smiled through tear soaked cheeks and Artoo finds it odd that she unscrews the lid on the bottle and scarfs down a handful of the tiny white circles.

#15: For the first time in a week she reappears and Anakin finds it a great relief to see her again, but he can't help but notice she seems a bit ditzy and out of it.

#16:It's been weeks and Ahsoka doesn't pester him anymore about taking his prescribed medication and he is relieved- up until he finds the bill in the mail that says he owes the medical bay credits because of the five bottles he has gone through in a month.

#17: He questions her about it and she pretends to not know what he is talking about- he goes to convince the medics they must have had a mix up but they tell him Ahsoka has been by several times to get him more prescriptions.

#18: When Anakin goes back to confront her about this he finds her with a glass of water in one hand and what looks like a hand full of the pills in the other, and before he can do anything she swallows them all and stares at him as if nothing is wrong.

#19: His anger surfaces and he immediately starts turning her room upside down to find all of the bottles to put an end to her overdosing- he finds three empty bottles under her bed and two full ones.

#20: She is put in a rehab facility for a few weeks to get her to break out of her habit- Anakin goes back to drinking.

#21: When she is released things go back to the way things were, and Anakin won't take the pills anymore because he refuses to go get them himself and Ahsoka is no longer aloud to get them for him.

#22: Like his drinking, Ahsoka finds way to ease her pain as well and the cuts that trace under her gloves seem to go unnoticed by everyone.

#23: They are sent on a mission to Cato Neimodia and Anakin is badly injured- he wakes up to find himself all alone in the medical bay other than a clone who has been treating his wounds; it saddens him a little that Ahsoka didn't show up here asleep like she use to.

#24: He is released several days later and the clones inform him that they haven't seen Commander Tano ever since the mission and he decides to go look for her- she isn't in her room.

#25: Artoo seems quite worried when he bumps into his leg and instructs Anakin to follow him- he leads him to his room and the sight before his eyes startles him... Ahsoka is drinking his secret stash of whiskey.

#26: His anger takes over and he grabs the bottle out of her small orange hand and pulls her to her feet and yells in her face- she is too drunk to really comprehend what is happening though and Anakin soon finds he is more angry that she was drinking his booze rather than being concerned for her.

#27: She giggles at his rage- not being able to fully process everything because she has been in his room for the last two days and drank an entire bottle and a half of whiskey- and he can't control what he does next and smacks her across the face.

#28: The contact of his hand to her face sends her staggering back and she sobers up fairly quickly and looks at him in shock- he doesn't seem fazed by his actions and she runs out of his room, tears in her eyes, and falls on the ground.

#29: Captain Rex finds her on the floor in the hall- passed out and drunk- and informs General Skywalker- the General doesn't appear to care and it stuns him somewhat but he takes the liberty of dealing with her hangover himself.

#30: A few days pass and it takes several bottles of booze to intake for Anakin to realize she was drinking for the same reasons he does; to ease the pain.

#31: He goes to visit her days later and finds her alone in her room, and he had planned on apologizing until he saw the knife she was dragging agains't her right forearm- and his rage bursts out again but for a different reason; he is concerned this time.

#32: She begs him not to send her back to "that place" and her expression has his heart settle with a heavy weight- he promises not to as long as she promises not to cut anymore- she promises.

#33: His drinking doesn't stop- and he doesn't know it but neither does her cutting... he wants more than anything to see his wife again before the war kills him- it'll either be that or the booze, he isn't sure.

#34: She cries herself to sleep at night now and wants more than anything for him to hear her, but he never does and she knows its because he doesn't care.

#35: He notices the bags under eyes and the way her eyes always seem puffy and decides that he needs to spend more time with her.

#36: He tells her over his commlink that he wants to meet her to spar and she agrees somewhat reluctantly.

#37: She seems in a lot of pain when having to lift her arms to block his attacks and it doesn't go unnoticed by him- he demands she takes off her gloves and he finds fresh wounds and crimson painted stains against her orange flesh- he erupts in rage and doesn't realize what he has done until Ahsoka is laying on the ground unconscious.

#38: She wakes up in the med bay and the first thing she sees is Anakin's worried expression- she turns away from him, remembering somewhat hazily that he had hit her, and can feel his hurt through the bond she didn't know they had and bites back tears.

#39: All of his booze is exposed of and he goes back to taking the pills- his mood improves greatly.

#40: Ahsoka notices the changes but her optimism has vanished and she doesn't get her hopes up.

#41: Anakin instructs the clones that she is to be observed at all times and he makes her move into a room with him so he can keep an eye on her.

#42: She doesn't have a knife anymore or booze to ease her pain because Anakin has gotten rid of them and she accepts the fact that she has depression- and wants to die.

#43: Anakin isn't sure how to help her so he silently prays that she will get better- she doesn't and he can't even take her on missions anymore because she is suicidal and has been shot several times because she doesn't even try to deflect shots coming at her anymore.

#44: Nothing interests her anymore and she barely talks to anyone- Anakin also notices she has lost a lot of weight and forces her to eat.

#45: It's a fear that has formed in his head for the longest time and he always thought _he _would be the one to do it, but he is wrong- Ahsoka had somehow found a rope and he walks into their room to see her limp, dead body hanging from the ceiling.

#46: Her funeral has many attendees, one of them is Padmé and she tries to lend her comfort but Anakin can only find it in booze now- he quits taking the pills.

#47: He won't accept the fact that she is gone and makes believe that she is still their, but deep down he knows she isn't with him anymore and he blames himself.

#48: The next few months are spent in a haze and he recalls waking up in the medbay several times but can't recall why he ended up their.

#49: The dreams begin years later and sometimes he wakes up Padmé in her sleep with his screams.

#50: Qui-Gon use to visit him, and it's not until he is being shipped out into the outer rim sieges that he visits him again- but this time he has someone else with him.

"Hey Skyguy!" She says cheerfully- her blue image looking healthier than it did when she was alive as if nothing ever happened- and for the first time in years... he smiles.

* * *

**... Bring on the hate comments. **

**Its important to remember that Anakin cares for Ahsoka like his little sister and none of this ever happened.**


End file.
